Bush Whacked
by Everafterglow
Summary: Murphy gets an interview with President George W. Bush


"Bush Whacked"

"Bush Whacked"

(Author's Note: I prefer the seasons on the show when Miles Silverberg is the producer, so that is what format I'm writing it in. Also, I writing this as if this is just another episode anywhere from seasons one through eight, and not much has changed.)

Scene: The News Room, early, on a Monday morning 

Murphy: (enters through the elevator, is clearly having a bad morning) 

Miles: Murphy, we're having a meeting as soon as Frank gets here.

Murphy: (exasperated) Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Miles: Murphy, why are you still wearing your bunny slippers?

Murphy: (looks down at her feet) Oh, dammit! It _would_ figure, wouldn't it? (storms off into her office)

Scene: Murphy's Office

Miles: All right, Murphy, what's wrong?

Murphy: (pulling out a change of shoes from her drawer) What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. Did you see NBC Nightly News?

Miles: Yeah, so what?

Murphy: (hits him in the shoulder) So what?! Tom Brokaw got the interview I've been wanting ever since the idiot was elected!

Miles: Well, maybe if you stopped referring to President Bush as "the idiot", you might get an interview.

Murphy: Oh, come on, Miles. The guy doesn't even know that Australia is a continent!

Miles: Well, Murphy, this is kind of what the meeting is about.

Murphy: What?

Miles: What if I told you that the President is also willing to talk to someone from FYI?

Murphy: Miles, you don't get it, do you? Brokaw already asked him the questions. Even if I did an interview-

Miles: Well, Murphy, I must say I'm disappointed. I mean, I can't believe that Tom Brokaw asked _all_ the questions you wanted to ask. I guess Corky will have to do it.

Murphy: Are you nuts? Corky interviews people at pet circuses, not the President of the United States! Although, I'm sure Dubya has been to at least _one_ of those pet circuses.

Miles: Well, you don't want to do it, so I don't have any other choice.

Murphy: Are you kidding? Of course I want to do it! Geez, Miles, you don't know me at all! (walks out of the office)

Scene: The News Room, at the conference table

Murphy: (pouring herself coffee) Is Frank here yet? 

Corky: (looks up from the table) No, not yet.

Murphy: God, what is with him? I wish everyone were as prompt as I am!

(An assortment of mumbled "yeah rights" are heard)

Frank: (enters through the elevator) Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late, but you know that recycling plant I've been investigating?

(An assortment of mumbled "yeahs" are heard)

Frank: Well, I had a hunch, and I figured out that the plant is using Mexican immigrants for cheap labor. 

Miles: Good work, Frank. OK, let's start the meeting. 

Jim: (to Murphy) I heard you're getting a big story, Slugger.

Murphy: Yeah, big story. I officially hate Tom Brokaw. 

Corky: Murphy! Don't be so gloomy! You're going to be interviewing the leader of the free world! I'd kill for that interview! 

Miles: Well, um, uh, you were my second choice, Corky.

Corky: Really?

Murphy: Oh, yes. You were next in line.

Corky: Wow, that's great! As my mama always said, "it's always better to be second choice than third!"

(Everyone exchanges confused looks)

Jim: Yes, Corky, very well said.

Miles: All right, Murphy. President Bush's advisors said that he wants to meet with you at the White House first, and review your questions.

Murphy: Are you kidding me? 

Miles: Murphy, don't push this. Ever since your interview with the former President Bush, you're lucky you're being invited back into the White House at all!

Murphy: Oh, sure. I slip up one time!  
Miles: Murphy! You set the man's jacket on fire!

Murphy: He put his sleeve to close to the candle!

Miles: You were waving it around!

Murphy: Oh, so what? I put it out, didn't I?

Miles: Murphy, do not push this. The Republican party is giving you another chance. Don't blow it. You're meeting with him tomorrow at 9am, don't be late, he has a busy schedule. 

Murphy: Oh, please. How hard is it to pretend you're important? We all know it's Cheney who's running the show.

Scene: The White House, 9am, Tuesday

Murphy: The White House. I haven't been in here in awhile.   
Secret Service Agent: Ma'am, the President will see you now.

Murphy: (enters the Oval Office) 

President Bush: Well, hello there, Ms. Brown.

Murphy: Hello, Mr. President. May I call you Dubya? I heard all your friends do.

President Bush: Uh, well, let's just stick with Mr. President.

Murphy: Oh, all right. 

President Bush: I assume you've brought a list of the questions you'll be asking me during the live interview? 

Murphy: Yes I did. 

President Bush: Can I see them?

Murphy: Um, why don't I just ask you them now?

President Bush: Oh, all right.

Murphy: Do you feel you won the election fairly?

President Bush: Excuse me?

Murphy: Well, this whole Electoral College thing. 

President Bush: I'm not sure what you mean, Ms. Brown.

Murphy: OK, I'll explain it to you. Let's say I'm running for President of the FYI news room against my producer, Miles Silverberg. Now, he gets 10 votes, and I get 3, but I win because those 3 people were standing in my office. That's how you won. 

President Bush: OK, I think this interview is over. I have a Pro-Life Rally to go to anyway.

Murphy: Pro-Life? Are you joking? 

President Bush: I am very serious, Ms. Brown.

Murphy: Well, do you know that when you sentence people to death, it kills them?

President Bush: OK, I think it's time for you to leave, Ms. Brown.

Scene: News Room, later that day

Miles: (coming off the elevator) Murphy! I just heard what happened!

Murphy: It wasn't that big of a deal, Miles. 

Miles: Murphy, the man is in the office for four years! That's four years of you not getting to do interviews with the most important man in the country!

Murphy: Miles, you know me. I'll always get my story, one way or another. 


End file.
